The Easy Way to Dramatically Reduce Toddler Tantrums - Babies Development

Transitioning from one activity to the next is one of the most common causes of toddler tantrums. Particularly when you're trying to get your toddler to stop doing something they enjoy to move on to something else.

But there are a few little changes you can make to the way you manage transitions that will significantly reduce the frequency and severity of toddler tantrums.

Avoiding the tantrum altogether is often much easier than dealing with meltdown, and you'll be surprised how well these techniques actually work.

Why Transitions are Difficult for Toddlers

The Key to Making Transitions Easier : Finding a Natural Break in an Activity

Imagine you're doing something you really enjoy.

Maybe you're engrossed in a really good book and your partner walks up and says, "That's enough, time to put that away.

" Then demands you close it right away and put it on the shelf.

You'd be frustrated, right? Maybe you'd even use a few choice words to express that frustration.

This is often the same feelings our toddlers experience when we try to get them to stop doing something and move on to something else.

As adults, we've developed self-control and have the ability to manage our emotions, but our toddlers don't have that skill yet.

And this difficulty managing their emotions, is what often results in challenging behaviors like tantrums occurring whenever they're told they need to transition from one activity to the next.

And the fact is, we need to ask our toddlers multiple times each day to stop doing one activity and start doing something else.

For example, the simple act of eating will mean your child has to stop whatever they're doing five times to eat a meal or have a snack.

And each time you direct them to change activities, there is a high chance that your little one will start whining, stalling or having a tantrum.

The good news is that once you understand this, you can implement a really simple strategy to make those transitions much easier for you both.

And the key is timing.

Instead of telling your child to immediately stop doing something when you need them to, wait until you find what we call a natural break in their activity before asking them to stop.

A natural break is just a natural pause or an end point in whatever they're doing.

For example, your toddler is going find it significantly easier to turn off the TV to go and eat dinner once their favorite show has finished rather than when they're halfway through the show.

Or if your toddler is busy feeding their dinosaurs, they're going to find it easier to stop playing with their dinosaurs and go and have that bath after all the dinosaurs have been fed, rather than if they suddenly get cut off halfway through.

Sabotage the Activity to Create a Natural Break in an Activity

Now for some activities, it's really easy to wait for a natural break to occur, but for other activities or due to time constraints, you may need to be creative and make those natural breaks occur in the time that you have available.

And you can do this multiple ways.

Firstly, you could sabotage the activities so it naturally comes to an end in the time that you have available.

Let's take the TV show example.

If you only have five minutes to spare before you need to leave the house, but your toddler's show is 20 minutes, then simply fast forward the show so that only five minutes is left and then let your toddler watch the last five minutes.

Then when the show naturally ends, your toddler is going to be less resistant to you turning off the TV and moving onto the next activity.

Or you could use a timer.

Use a Timer to Create a Natural Break in an Activity

Toddlers love timers because they give them a greater sense of control, and this is for a number of reasons.

Firstly, they can check it as often as they like and see how much time is remaining.

And secondly, the timer tells them when it's time to change activity, as opposed to their parents.

And this in itself is amazing as it essentially removes the child's ability to blame the parents on having to stop an activity because it's the clock's fault that they need to stop an activity, not the parents.

Now, because toddlers cannot tell time, and as parents we often lose track of time, I highly recommend use a timer which makes a bell sound when the time is up.

The bell will remind you and your toddler that it is time to stop the activity and move on.

Some great timers you can use include a standard kitchen timer, a time timer or the timer on your phone.

Personally, I find the timer on my phone the most versatile as it's always on me.

And most importantly, when you set the timer on your phone, the circle around the time gradually reduces with time, which provides a toddler with a visual representation of how much time is remaining.

And this is important as it helps them understand how much time is remaining and they can prepare themselves for the end of the activity.

Another way to increase your little one's understanding, is to know how well they should be communicating at each age range so you can adjust how you speak to your little one.

So if you haven't already, make sure you click on the link in the description box below to get the free Communication Milestone Chart.

And this will give you an invaluable peace of mind as you'll know how many words you should be expecting from your little one, as well as how clear their speech should be, from one year of age all the way up to four years of age.

Count Down to Create a Natural Break in an Activity

Now, another great way to create a natural break in an activity is by counting down.

Simply telling your child how many more times they can do a specific activity, gives your toddler a clear understanding of when an activity will finish, as well as provides time for them to mentally prepare for the change.

And this can reduce the likelihood of a tantrum occurring.

For example, if you're at the playground and your toddler is on a slide, instead of saying, "It's time to go," and then abruptly leaving the playground after your little one has slid down the slide, you would say, "Five more slides and then it's time to go home.

" And then you would count down each time your little one goes down the slide.

It means, "Four more slides and it's time to go home.

Three more slides, then it's time to go home.

Two more slides, then it's time to go home.

One more slide, and then it's home time.

" And then after that last slide, you would say, "Home time," and gently guide your little one to leave the playground.

Now, it's important to remember that although finding the natural breaks in activities and using them to transition from one activity to the next will help reduce the number of tantrums your little one has when you do ask them to change activities, it is natural for your child to be disappointed about having to stop and still experience some meltdowns.

And in these situations, it's really important to acknowledge your little one's feelings, but follow through with stopping the activity at that point.

If you give them one more turn on the slide or one more TV show after they've had a tantrum, you could accidentally encourage your little one to tantrum more.

So if your little one does get upset at a change in activity, stay calm, crouch down so that you're level with your child's eyes and simply state that you can see they're upset, but you can't have another turn and it's time to do the next activity.

So if we use the slide example, you would say, "I can see you're upset because you don't get another turn on the slide.

It is hard to leave the playground, but it's time to go home.

" And then you would help your child leave the playground.

It may take a little time, but if you consistently stop an activity once you've said it's time to finish, your toddler will understand that you mean what you say.

And the number of tantrums that occur will significantly decrease.

And changing from one activity to the next will be a lot more pleasant for everyone.

In addition to creating natural breaks in activities, there is one phrase that you want to avoid saying to your toddler because it often leads to an increase in toddler tantrums as well as increases their engagement in undesirable behaviors.

So if you want to reduce your one-year-old's tantrum and stop them engaging in these undesirable behaviors,