I Wish I Did This Differently With My First Baby - Babies Development

With our 3rd baby arriving soon, there are a few things we did with our first 2 children that we'll definitely be doing differently this time around.

In this article I'm sharing the 3 main things we're going to change this time around.

Even as someone who specializes in child development, I'm still constantly learning. And the experience of our first two children taught me a lot, particularly around our personal preferences and what works best for our family.

These are the things we're doing differently - they aren't right or wrong, but they are based on what works best for us and I hope this article helps you decide on the best approach for your family too!

I Wish I Did This Differently With My First Baby

First Newborn Mistake

As a pediatric occupational therapist, I know that babies, particularly newborns, find sucking calming .

But at the same time, I'm also aware of the potential pitfalls that can arise when a baby becomes dependent on a pacifier, specifically an increased risk of middle ear infections if a pacifier is used after six months of age and potential dental problems which can arise if a pacifier is used past toddlerhood .

But my main fear with my first child was that my daughter would become dependent on the pacifier for sleep .

And I was terrified that once she transitioned through that sleepy newborn phase into the four months sleep regression, she would start to wake frequently during the night, calling out to me to replace her pacifier to help her fall back to sleep .

And in addition to that, I was also concerned that a dependence on a pacifier could also lead to shorter day naps .

So we decided not to give our little one a pacifier .

Instead, we would help position her hands in her mouth when she was upset so she could still soothe herself by sucking on her hands .

And this strategy worked most of the time, but my daughter was a squawker, particularly when traveling in the car .

In fact, she absolutely hated the car .

The whole car ride, she would cry so much so that my parents started to nickname her the Galah, which is a very loud bird that we have here in Australia for those of you who are wondering what a Galah is .

Now, I was okay with the squawking because I knew she was just letting me know that she wanted to get out and, trust me, I did too .

But that squawking was certainly distracting and stressful at times .

By the time my second child arrived, I had completed courses on newborn and baby sleep through my work and had a deeper understanding of infant sleep in general .

Because of that, I actually changed my thinking around pacifiers and decided to use one with our son .

The main difference this time around was that I knew that when a pacifier started to have an impact on his sleep, I could just remove the pacifier and it would be fine .

And I also know the numerous benefits of using a pacifier with a baby, like helping soothe the fussy baby coming in very handy during medical procedures like blood tests and vaccinations because pacifiers themselves can actually provide an analgesic effect helping a baby fall asleep without the need for rocking or feeding .

And, most importantly, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend parents offer pacifiers to infants one month of age and older at the onset of sleep to help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome .

Honestly, using a pacifier with my son worked a treat .

He happily traveled in the car while sucking on that pacifier, and up until five months of age, I could simply pop in the pacifier at bedtime and nap time while he was lying in the cot and then just walk on out .

It was beautiful .

Then at five months, he started to spit the pacifier out before falling asleep at nap times .

So, at that point, I just stopped offering him the pacifier as he no longer needed it or wanted it to fall asleep .

Using the pacifier with my second child gave him a way to soothe himself as well as fall asleep and stay asleep with ease .

It also meant less crying or protesting in the day, which made my life so much easier .

Looking back, I realized not using a pacifier with my first was a mistake, and I definitely won't be making that same mistake when my third arrives very soon .

Second Newborn Mistake

Now let's talk about something else I see as a mistake I made with my first child that I won't be making this time round .

And that was not swaddling her for sleep .

I did start off swaddling, but I found that she didn't settle down and fall asleep until she managed to get one arm free which she then sucked .

Given that she seemed to prefer this sleeping position, I thought the Love to Dream Swaddle Up would be the ideal sleeping bag for her .

And, honestly, when I was using these sleeping bags with her I thought she loved it .

She was a very noisy sleeper who fussed a lot in her sleep but I knew that babies were noisy sleepers, and I thought this was normal .

But after having my second child and switching to the Halo SleepSack Swaddle, I realized that using a sleeping bag which positioned my daughter's arms up beside her face was actually disrupting her sleep .

And this was the reason she was fussing so much .

Although my son did initially protest when I put that Halo SleepSack Swaddle on him, he immediately fell asleep and would fuss less during the sleep .

I also noticed that when I was using the swaddle, it helped to dampen the startle reflex and made it super easy to transfer my sleeping son from my arms into the crib .

Whereas with my daughter, I had to gently lower her into the crib and then quickly pin her arms and legs with my hands to dampen that startle reflex to ensure she stayed asleep .

And this didn't work every time .

At times, she would wake up which would be so frustrating .

After my second child, I saw that swaddling a newborn made it easier to transfer the baby from my arms into the cot, and most importantly help them to get a better quality sleep .

It is due to these reasons I will definitely be swaddling my third child .

Before we cover the third mistake, if you haven't already, make sure you download the free New Parent's Guide to Naps so you can know what to expect in regards to your little one's sleeps and naps for their first three years of life .

Third Newborn Mistake

The last mistake I will not be making with my third child is fighting the cat naps .

With my first child, I was obsessed over her sleep .

It honestly consumed me .

And when she started cat napping at four months of age, I did everything to try and get her to link her sleep cycles, and it was exhausting .

But what I failed to realize is that my daughter was perfectly happy having multiple short naps during the day, and no matter what I did, after 20 to 40 minutes of a nap, she was ready to play again .

Then one day when she was six months of age, the cat naps suddenly stopped, and she started having one and a half hour naps .

When my second child arrived two years later, I knew a lot more about cat naps .

I knew that catnapping is completely normal behavior from about three and a half to four months of age all the way up to five and a half to six months of age .

And that's because babies at this age don't actually have the skills to link sleep cycles .

So they wake after one sleep cycle, which is about 30 to 45 minutes later .

So when my son start catnapping at four months of age, instead of fighting it, I embraced it .

Embracing the catnaps significantly reduced my stress levels as I was no longer worrying about trying to extend his naps .

I knew that if I created a sleep environment which promoted sleep, sometime between five to six months of age, he would start linking his sleep cycles and naturally extend his naps .

And that is exactly what happened .

So with my third child, I will not be making the mistake of fighting the cat naps when they do start to happen .

Instead, I will choose to embrace them or at least tolerate them .

Now, as I said, catnapping is a completely normal behavior for babies between three to six months of age, but there are some things that you can do to make sure that their environment is conducive to sleep, so that when they are ready to extend those naps and link those sleep cycles, they have the ability to do it .